A Christmas Carol and a breakup
She is in her late forties, thin, always frowning. Her long brown hair in a low twisted bun, her mouth always set in the same stern frown. She doesn't want to be happy. Her husband left her a million years ago for a younger woman. Before he heft her he was abusive, financially, emotionally, and physically. She was homeless for two years. She is still bitter, still complains about every thing he ever did. She won't divorce him, she thinks if she files she will have to see him or he will beat her again.
Another woman, a classmate from fifth grade, I saw her at fast food restaurant. I said hi and sat down to wait for my friend to get their cheeseburger. She sat in the booth with me and before my friends burger was ready she had told me her whole divorce story. Her divorce from seven years ago. She lost her house and had to live in her car. She was all the way, in the moment from her husband leaving her from that far in the past. She wasn't alone, an older gentlemen was her current companion and he was finishing his food while she talked about her ex husband. She barely mentioned this man.
Scrooge saw his future if he didn't change, could these women be my ghosts of bitter wife future? All I can do is have hope even when I can't see hope ( part of one of my favorite bible verses). Every day it gets clearer that I may never get an explanation from RG. No closure no I'm sorry, not even a talk about the bills and the business end of a marriage ending. Hopefully I will not be one of these women in five years or maybe even five months. The way he left hurts but I hold onto every wonderful moment we had. RG is a bad break up, but when he was my husband he was kind and wonderful. I can hope to everyday take baby steps towards a future I didn't plan for, but I have had some amazing people show me a huge amount of compassion everyday. Perhaps those kind people, from some amazing places are the reason I can bypass the divorced woman's version of being Scrooge in A Christmas Carol.
No comments:
Post a Comment