Messy bits of life

Sam is throwing up today. The first thing I did was want to call you.  You were always better at dealing with the messy bits of life. I miss you. All the bad all the good. We adopted a dog that is the size of a moose and he loves you. He doesn't understand divorce and running away when the messy bits of life get too ugly. Yesterday is the first time I went to the grocery store and bought a normal amount of normal groceries. It felt weird not picking up your favorites. Every baby step I take to get back to normal life without you feels weird. Guilty and strange. I wonder what is going on in your head when your alone, do you miss anything? When I would cook for you? Buying you pigs feet and salted pork that you would eat like candy. The roast chicken you loved, I know I miss your chicken wings. I even miss the way you screw up cooking steaks half the time. You loved our kitchen so much. I loved our marriage so much. Well enough wallowing for now, Sam left another messy bits of life and I can't call you.